There’s this idea that there are some women who simply can’t have an orgasm. And while it’s true that there really are some, most of the women who think they can’t have an orgasm simply haven’t learned how to have one yet. But they are actually perfectly capable of reaching climax from a physical and psychological standpoint. It’s just that they haven’t experienced one yet, and thus they believe they can’t have one. Maybe the things that work for most women don’t work for them, and then they stop trying to change things.
So as a man, if you are the one who teaches her how to have an orgasm, that can literally blow her mind and make her totally crazy about you, and it’s not as difficult as it might seem (or she might think).
However, you have to be prepared that she won’t believe this works, so don’t be offended if she’s a skeptic.
One of the prerequisites of good sex is relaxation. If your lady isn’t relaxed, it’ll be very difficult to get her to a point where she can open herself up to the intensely pleasurable and intimate experience of having an orgasm.
A lot of guys think that a woman who can’t have an orgasm should simply get harder sex – harder, faster, deeper, longer, bigger, you know, that kind of thing. But that could be the exact opposite. Maybe she needs a more gentle and soft approach to sexuality. It really totally depends, and the reason why I’m saying this is because I don’t want you to go into this with a lot of preconceived notions, but instead explore, investigate, experiment and observe.
The next thing you should clear up is whether she can have an orgasm when she masturbates. If that’s the case, it’s really mostly about relaxing and developing trust with you.
But if she can’t have an orgasm when she masturbates, then it’s time to explore a bit deeper and masturbate together. Use your fingers, use your lips, use your mouth. Heck, get a vibrator and get to work for that matter. The most important thing at this point is not how you get her there, but that you get her there, and that sometimes means putting your ego aside. (Every man’s ego can be a bit brushed if a woman doesn’t have an orgasm when having intercourse with him, but can have one when she’s using a vibrator, but relax – that doesn’t mean you’re not good in bed. It’s just a step for her to open up her sexuality and develop her skills of intimacy, and your job is to help and guide her along the way).
Mental Sex Triggers That Make Her Cum
Now don’t underestimate how important it is what’s going on in her head. One of the most common reasons why women don’t orgasm is that they are too self-conscious. As soon as you become excessively self-conscious about sex, everything goes down the drain and the enjoyment really disappears.
So make sure you help her to get lost in the moment and fully let herself fall into the experience of having sex, rather than thinking about it all. Overthinking is the worst thing a woman can do during sex. You really need to find a way to “switch off” that thinking, rational part of the brain when having sex. That’s when you want to get in touch with the more animistic and primal parts of your brain.
And there are some sex positions which make women enjoy sex more.